Sometimes you think you’re never going to hear the end of you child wanting to do things “by myself” and then that suddenly stops and your child no longer wants to be independent. Or maybe your child never had that phase and just wants you to do everything for them instead. As with most things having to deal with young children, you can look for the underlying need. If your child is constantly telling you, “Mama do it,” let’s consider what might be going on:

Is it because he’s busy with something else?

If your child is already working with something and you ask if he wants to help prep dinner, it’s okay to let him continue playing. It’s important not to break his concentration if at all possible, so if you notice that he’s already super absorbed in something else, try not to interrupt.

Is it because he is seeking connection?

If your child is constantly asking you to do things for him that you know he can do himself (like dressing, brushing teeth, putting on shoes, etc), he might just enjoy your company while doing so. You can try, “Let’s do it together! Which part would you like to do?”

Is it because he thinks he can’t do it well or it would be faster/easier for you to do it for him?

If he’s resisting independence because he thinks the task is too difficult, don’t force him to do it alone. You can try, “What part would you like some help with?”

There are some kids who just grow out of wanting to help with some tasks. For example, my girls loved food prep when they were toddlers, but as they got older they wanted less and less to do with it. They were usually busy playing and didn’t want to take the time to help chop up veggies, so I let them continue playing and just did it myself. The invitation to help is always there, but it’s up to them to choose it or not.

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