Question from a follower: “Please tell us how you handle kids and cell phones. Age requirement, rules, apps, oversight, etc. Such a tricky issue for many families!”

I’ve received this question multiple times, so I decided to share about the approach our family is taking when it comes to adding technology to our kids’ lives!

Like our approach to most things, we decided that introducing technology to our kids would require a lot of scaffolding. We didn’t want to go from absolutely nothing straight to a smart phone with all kinds of access to everything on the internet.

We also know that technology and social media are changing all the time, so none of our “rules” are set in stone yet. We’re ready to adapt if and when we need to.

We started with a shared iPad that the girls got for Christmas when they were 7 and 8.75 years old. It’s just for games and a chat app called Messenger Kids. This is connected to our adult Facebook accounts, so we have to add people they can chat with and we can see everything they send and receive. Video calls with friends and family happen there.

We don’t have strict time limits for the iPad because we haven’t needed to. They use it maybe a few times a week, and when they ask how long they can play games on it, we usually ask them to set a timer for however long they think it should be. We are always surprised that they choose something like 15-20 minutes, when we would be inclined to give them longer than that. Sometimes my 8-year-old will set a 15 minute timer and I’ll tell her she can make it 30 minutes instead just to blow her mind.

For my oldest’s 10th birthday, we decided to get her a smart watch. We chose a Gabb watch, which has no internet, no social media, and is basically just for texting and calling. It came at pretty much the perfect time for our family, as she is now starting to go more places independently — riding a different school bus to a friend’s house one night a week, attending extracurriculars by herself, etc.

We can set quiet times on the smart watch when she can’t access anything other than the time, and the only person she can call/text during those times is me in case of emergency. I have to approve contacts that she can call/text, and there are just a couple of games on it. It also has a location tracker, but we turned that off because we don’t really need it and it drained the battery very quickly.

As far as next steps, we’re not exactly sure at this point! It might look like:

• Ages 10-11: Continue with smart watch.
• 12: Move to Gabb phone (still no internet/social media)
• 12+: Practice with a family social media account on the iPad — something like an Instagram account where we learn appropriate things to post online and how to interact with others. We would not start this until she asked to have an account, and this would be a required first step.
• 13+: Regular phone but mostly no social media and lots of controls regarding time usage/apps allowed. I don’t know enough about the different social media types and the parental controls available on each to say more yet.

But again, this stuff changes all the time and our family needs also change.

6 months ago, would I have told you that my 10-year-old would have a smart watch? No.

Am I glad she has it now and do I feel like this was the right choice for us? Yes.

Just as technology is ever evolving, so are our family’s needs and views on how to handle it with our kids.